Each
child is an individual and therefore each child will learn to potty
train in their own way and will also have their own reason for
resisting. Here are some general ideas that may help you figure out why
your child is resisting.
Confusion about the toilet training process or about what is expected from the child.
Confusion
around the toilet training process could be as simple as the child is
not connecting all the dots that are required to successfully go on the
potty, so since s/he does not understand, s/he does not want to try and
will therefore resist.
Confusion around the
expectations occur when the child is getting mixed messages from the
parent. Consisteny is the key. Create reasonable expectations according
to your child's abilities, then express them clearly and frequently and
follow through on what you say.
Sometimes, as
parents we don't alway think about or know all the things that could
occur and therefore when unexpected thing occur, the child could be
confused as well. It could be things such a painful BM because of
constipation on the potty and now the child associates the pain with
the potty and will resist doing BMs in the potty.
Curosity about what will happen when they resist
A
toddler could just be testing the waters to see what will happen - they
will simply resist to solicit your reaction. This gives them
information on how far they can push and what their boundaries are.
Anxiety or fear about the process of elimination, or fear of the potty or the toilet.
A
child could develop fear or anxiety about the process of elimination if
for some reason the experience has been negative in some way. This
could be from having a pain while urinating because of skin irritation
or a painful BM from being constipated.
If the
child has had a negative experience with a potty or a toilet seat, s/he
could become afraid of using that potty or toilet seat.
Independence and control issues that make it hard for him/her to satisfy your wishes at this time
One of the child development stages that a toddler goes through is the
desire to master one's own body and environment.
You will hear toddlers say "I can do it" and "I am a big boy/girl now" are indications of the desire towards independence.
So,
if your toddler happens to be in this stage, s/he may not want to
satisfy your wishes at this time and will want to demonstrate to you
that indeed s/he is an independent human being and in control of
him/herself!
Too much pressure to perform
A
parent who constantly ask the toddler is s/he need to go potty may
spark resistance in the toddler, especially if s/he happens to be in an
independent phase.
Inappropriate potty training or toilet training technique that does not suit the child personality or learning style
Your
potty training techinque has to suit your child's personality and
learning style. For example if you select the "Practice until you get
it right method" where you have defined a potty schedule for your child
who is extremely independent and a self starter, you may find yourself
in a power struggle.
If you have a child that tends
to day dream and is easily distracted, s/he may need you to set up a
schedule and remind him/her to go and use the potty.
Other
examples include - asking a shy child to use potty in the kitchen or
family room - around a lot of people. Shutting the bathroom door on a
sociable toddler. Asking a physically active child to sit on the potty
for more than 3-5 minutes at a time. Physical pain cause by an infection or constipation
It
is human nature to avoid pain, so if your toddler is experience pain
when urinating because of an infection or experiencing painful BM
because of constipation, you child will avoid going potty until s/he
can no longer hold it and ends up having accidents.
Parents
may overlook physical or medical reasons for resisting potty training.
Observe you child behavior and if you see any signs of skin irritation
or urinary tract infection, consult with your child's pediatrician.
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